A Little About Us

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Detroit, Michigan, United States
Mr. & Mrs. Swanilla are a fun-loving, sexually adventurous couple that are slowly dipping their toes in the lifestyle. We are part of the daily grind of kids, careers, coffee, dishes, wine, soccer games, & parent/teacher conferences. So come the weekend, we love to get our kids into bed early, and then run to our bedroom, drink wine and connect on every level. We have been married for over 18 years, and we are incredibly very happy, deep in love and still very hot for each other! We have never considered ourselves vanilla by the traditional meaning, but more like ‘Dirty Vanilla’ or ‘Swanilla’! Mrs. Swanilla has always been very bi-curious/bi-situational and appreciates how sexy women can be. We have always been very erotic, kinky, and sexually adventurous and enjoy many things the lifestyle has to offer as it enhances an already great sex life! Mr. Swanilla does most of the online stuff (he enjoys it more), but Mrs. Swanilla always knows what’s going on. Be sure to follow our blog to see where our journey takes us!

The Swanilla's

The Swanilla's

Saturday, July 27, 2013

To disclose or not to disclose?

We have thought about a few things over the year we have had our blog. Having a blog or podcast is such a great creative outlet to share your experiences with others. There are so many blogs and podcasts that have been very fun and educational to read or listen to. In fact in listening to one of our favorite podcasts from several years ago Bath Talk Weekly is what led to several discussions for us in communicating our sexual desires better, and talking through our fantasies in an open and honest way. I remember when I told Mrs. Swanilla about one of my fantasies a few years ago. We had a glass of wine on the couch and we started talking about a few things in our sex life. After getting the liquid courage to tell her honestly that I would love to have sex in front of others, and watch others at the same time, essentially have same room sex and that I wanted to take it from a fantasy to a reality. I was unsure how she would react at first, even though she is very open minded but it felt great being honest. I was ready for a possible backlash and ready to have a heartfelt talk, but since we have been so open with each other about everything, we love it and expect each other to be honest and communicate. (Look for a future blog post on the importance of communication). I explained what I had in mind and that I wanted it to be sexy and did not want it to look like the driveway scene of Boogie Nights and of course not with any friends or anyone that we know. We want to keep vanilla friends vanilla and not let them in on our little secret!


See the classic funny clip here!


We started talking about how to do it in a safe environment that would be sexy, classy and respectful and that lead us to researching the lifestyle more and more and realized that there is a place for us in the lifestyle. I remember when telling her, and her being extremely turned on based on our conversations and her reaction turned me on even more and within a few minutes of talking about it, we ran into our bedroom and had a very passionate and intense fuck! She was so turned on that she was dripping with wetness before I even  touched her! As I slowly put my cock in her she told me how much bigger I felt and I told her how much wetter she felt. We had such an intense time just thinking of others watching us, and us watching them. That was our first example of what the effects of the lifestyle can do for your love life!!!!! We enjoyed making that a reality last year during our first trip to a club. We can't wait to go back and experience it again!


Back to blogging and podcasting, one question we thought of is do you let the appropriate people know about your blog or podcast? When we say let people know, we mean people in the Lifestyle. Letting vanilla friends know is different topic all together. For example, if you have an online profile on Kasidie or another lifestyle site, should you have a link to your blog or podcast? Should you actively tell people you meet in the lifestyle at clubs, parties or online about your blog or podcast? There are pros and cons to this, and we have mixed feelings. We love getting emails from readers telling us they are enjoying our blog and they felt it was sexy or that it helped lead to a conversation about a topic.

We recently heard a podcast that had an interview with a couple that hosts house parties. After hearing them describe what they do, how they make their parties very classy, sexy, upscale, inviting, and safe (only those on the guest list are allowed in) we were intrigued to learn more. Turns out, after they mentioned their webpage and screen name on a lifestyle site, we realized that we had already 'friended' them since we are in the same general area. So on one hand, if they hadn't disclosed they had their webpage or host parties, we wouldn't have made the connection and realized who they were or known about their webpage. 


If you have a podcast, there of course is a chance someone may recognize your voice at a party, club or in the vanilla world! Yikes!!!! We know some podcasters use tools to change the tones of their voices slightly. But there are some people we would love to meet in person if given the chance. If we are able to get down to Desire in Cancun someday, or another resort or club we would love to say hello to Kidder & Jade from Bath Talk Weekly, the cast from Life on the Swingset, or the lovely couple from The Swing Wife and JB & Kal from Swingin’ Around . Perhaps after listening or reading certain podcasts/blogs you tend to feel like your listening to mutual friends in the Lifestyle, especially when they touch on topics that are on your mind, you have been through or would like to be part of. So naturally some may want to say hello if given the chance to meet one day. However, some of the drawbacks may be if you have people in the lifestyle reading your blog or listening to your podcast, and you meet eventually at a club or party. Say you hit it off with them as a couple and end up flirting, touching, or even playing. The experience may be great and everyone is smiling and moaning by the end of the night. However, they may have a small fear that you may not be discreet in talking about your shared experiences together or they may not want you to blog (or podcast) about it all which is a reasonable request. It seems most people in the lifestyle understand that a big part of the lifestyle is the culture of common courtesy such as using discretion, mutual respect and of course privacy


Now we have heard many podcasts where couples share their experiences they had with couples by giving them nicknames such as the British Couple or with M & K using the couples initials, which seems to be discreet enough. However, the flip side is what if you meet a couple, you hit it off and things don’t go as well as you had hoped at some point in the night? Say you play with another couple and there were aspects of the evening that didn’t go quite as you would have liked. Should you blog/podcast about your experience with the risk of hurting someone’s feelings? Should you perhaps skip talking or blogging about it? Another way of approaching it could be to tell who you feel comfortable telling. You could be dancing with a couple at a club and they may have no idea who you are and have no clue you may be blogging about them at a later time, as there is a good chance we would be discreet on details. Which is okay as some experiences are good to leave as a secret.

We aren’t talking about not promoting your blog or podcast. You have to encourage listeners to rate you on ITunes and readers to sign up or read your posts. Using tools such as Twitter, RSS Feeds and other social media is a great way to help get your message and story out to others. It seems the reality of most lifestyle blogs/podcasts is that most do it for the pleasure of something they enjoy doing as a couple and want to share their experiences with others. We aren't sure how many lifestyle bloggers or podcasters are getting rich in banner ads or product reviews? There isn’t anything wrong with trying to taking an ad to help pay for web hosting, T-Shirts, equipment, etc. But it seems those that blog/podcast do it for the pure enjoyment of it.


What are your thoughts? Should one disclose their blog/podcast when meeting people in person or online? Play it by ear depending on the situation? Should you wait until you feel more comfortable with the people you meet? Is each situation different? 

Let us know your thoughts. 



This week's song is Play by Los Rakas – a band from Panama. You can find their album here.

We assure everyone, that when we play this song on date night and after a couple glasses of wine, Mrs. Swanilla turns into something else! Sometimes Mr. Swanilla can't keep up and is just thrown to the bed and just has to lay there and take it as Mrs. Swanilla has her way with him and just rides his cock until we both are covered in wetness!